Welcome to the site dedicated to the 30ish and Confused!
I’ve always heard that life in my 30’s would be a time of building family, career, and wealth. As I entered my third decade of life, I imagined I would have an amazing marriage with great kids, money to spare, and be well on my way up the corporate ladder. As I entered my 30’s, I became quite confused.
I was not prepared for the realities of entering this new era. It certainly is a time of building, but it is also a time of confusion about life’s purpose, the difficulties of marriage and parenting, financial worries, career path, being an adult “child” to your parents, health, spirituality, addictions, and leaving a legacy; not to mention losing hair in some places and growing it in others (which I thought was more of a 40’s thing?)
I write about all of these things as well as the fun stuff like goal setting, adventure, pursuing dreams, and living a good life.
In my teens and early 20’s, things seemed to go pretty easy for me. I did well in college and graduated with a degree in nursing. I didn’t really set out to be a nurse, but the time came when I had to declare a major and sign up for my next semester of classes. I had all the credits necessary for nursing school, so that’s what I did. It was all fun and games until Meet the Parents came out…FOCKER!
I got married when I was 25 and that’s when things really started to change. One night, my wife and I had a moment like you see in romantic comedies like Braveheart (I can’t think of any other romantic movies that I’m willing to admit to watching; he dies for love and the Scots moon the English).
Anyway…I told her I needed to talk to her, and she said she had something she wanted to talk to me about too. So we went to a bookstore and grabbed coffee. She was so excited and went first. She had secretly booked an Alaskan cruise! Then it was my turn. I realized that we had a combined debt of over $55,000 (car, student loans, engagement ring, and honeymoon…obviously I was a big saver) and we were going on immediate financial lockdown! No cruise. Ugh, I felt like such a loser and jerk.
Fast forward 3 years, and we were completely out of debt (except for a modest house; thank you Dave Ramsey), I had a higher paying job in medical sales, and we had our first child. I kind of felt like I had this crap figured out. I was the man!
Sometime in the next year or two, I started to realize that I wanted more. I hadn’t peaked at 28 had I? It was a sort of divine discontent. It was though God was nudging me to wake up. Ambition kicked in and I started eyeing a few possible career moves. I also started worrying about gaining financial success at the expense of my family. The thought of not being involved with my child made me feel guilty, but the thought of not making more money made me feel like a bad provider.
A quote from Joel Osteen (I know many of you don’t like him, but it’s just a quote so get over it) really started to mess with me. He said, “Don’t give the best of your life to things that don’t excite you.”
Climbing the corporate ladder DID NOT excite me. But what did? Was I too far into my comfort zone that I could never pursue adventure or find out why I was put here?
Eventually my wife and I decided we were ready to do something big. We thought about it for almost a year, and finally decided to move from South Texas to Colorado. We forgot to do it “by the books” which confused a lot of our friends and made some of our family less than thrilled at our decision. A month later we were on the road.
We moved without a place to live, jobs, or contacts. We knew that we wanted to go to Colorado, but didn’t even decide on a city until a week before leaving. We learned a lot about ourselves during this time. We learned that fear is usually over silly things, to rely on God and each other, and that the life you want doesn’t just happen. You have to plan it and then actually do something.
Our move to Colorado didn’t last long; a year to be exact. However, it was one of the greatest times of my life; and most expensive. We reasoned that moving may be a mistake, but not moving would be a regret.
Yet, I still didn’t have that thing. The thing most of us want…something to pursue; a purpose and a dream. I have recently found these in blogging and hope to use this to help you on your journey into or through your 30’s.
Currently, I am married (thank the Lawdy), two kids (10 year-old daughter, 8 year-old son), back in debt from moving, still in medical sales, gained 30 lbs of hunka hunka burnin’ love, and writing!
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